Fear of Failure: Breaking Free from What Holds You Back
- emmajobray
- Mar 18
- 4 min read

Ever found yourself not pursuing your dream, avoiding that new job application, hesitating to try a new hobby, or steering clear of exploring a new place? You feel this internal tug, part of you wants to take that leap, embrace the unknown, and welcome change. But then, the familiar voice in your head whispers, “What if I fail?” This fear, the fear of failure, is often the thing that holds you back, preventing you from moving forward. It can be a powerful force, keeping you stuck in your comfort zone, even when you know that change could bring growth and opportunity. But ask yourself this: Did you ever fear failing when you were learning to walk? Probably not. Sure, you fell down over and over again, but you got back up every single time. You didn't even think about quitting. You knew that each stumble brought you one step closer to mastering the skill. You had a completely different perception of failure back then. So why, as an adult, do we allow that same fear to control our lives? The truth is, the fear of failure is something we learn over time. It’s a thought pattern that gets reinforced by past experiences, shaping our perception of what failure actually means. When you were learning to walk, you viewed each failure as a stepping stone, a necessary part of the journey. Somewhere along the way, though, you learned to view failure differently, as something to be avoided at all costs. But here’s the good news: just as you learned to fear failure, you can unlearn it.
Failure as Growth
Let’s reframe failure. What if failing isn't something to be feared but instead an opportunity for growth? Every failure, every mistake, every setback is a chance to learn and evolve. Each time you fail, you become more resilient, more capable, and more prepared to face future challenges. Failure doesn’t define your worth. It doesn’t say anything about you as a person. It simply says, “I’ve learned something valuable.” In fact, you can think of failure as a step towards success, not as an endpoint. The fear of failing doesn't have to paralyse you. Instead, it can be your motivation to try harder, think smarter, and persist until you succeed.
Embracing the Unknown
One of the biggest reasons we fear failure is because we fear the unknown. We don’t know what the future holds, and that uncertainty can feel overwhelming. But instead of letting that uncertainty stop you, try embracing it. What if the unfamiliar brings something positive? What if the change you’re avoiding is exactly what you need to move forward in your life? Taking risks doesn’t mean jumping into the unknown without a plan. It’s about being educated in your approach, addressing the worst-case scenario, and preparing yourself for what might happen.
Let’s break it down with a simple example:
You want to apply for a new job, but you’re afraid you’ll fail. What if you don’t get the job? First, let’s explore the worst-case scenario: - You don’t get the job. - You stay in your current position, which you’re unhappy with. You might make mistakes during the interview or not be liked by the employer. So, what's the worst thing about that? You failed. And then what? You’ll feel like you're not good enough. But let’s pause there. If you don't get the job, you’ll still be in a position where you can grow. You’ll still have opportunities to try again. And here’s a thought: if you stay where you are, how will you feel in the long term? Will staying in your comfort zone cause you more discomfort than stepping out of it?
Here’s the key: If you put your best foot forward, you’ve already won. Because your best, in that moment, is always enough. It doesn’t matter if you fail or succeed immediately. What matters is that you showed up, you tried, and you did your best. That’s all you can control.
Changing Your Mindset
The mind is naturally drawn to what’s familiar. That’s why it can be so easy to fall into the pattern of fearing failure, it’s become your norm. But the great thing is, you have the power to change this. Fear of failure isn’t a fixed part of who you are. It’s a learned behaviour, and like all learned behaviours, it can be unlearned.
Through techniques like Rapid Transformational Therapy (RTT), you can break free from these limiting beliefs and create new thought patterns that empower you rather than hold you back. RTT helps you identify and change the beliefs and behaviours that no longer serve you, giving you the tools to embrace failure as part of the growth process.
Remember, the fear of failure is just a story you’ve been telling yourself for years. But you can change the narrative. You can take risks, you can fail, and you can rise stronger every time. So, what will you do? Will you let fear control you, or will you embrace the possibilities that come with stepping out of your comfort zone? The choice is yours.
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